You're not in
You're not in
only a foreign chap
who takes it on the chin.
Tell her this and tell her that
He pretends to listen.
I hate him. You're not in.
My telephone refuses
to ring - I can't hear it.
I can't bear it. You will
think that I'm not answering
oh my God, you're not in.
I go home more than less alone
the hall bulb is bright for a second:
yellow, warmth, hope, home,
and then flings at the floor to my feet.
Light smashes.
I cannot stand it, I cannot stand it
I go from room to room,
I cannot find a single thing.
Later, after ten minutes of uneasy breathing
and eyes gummed with
all the years before
ringing you up and you weren't in
somebody else opening your door
I snatch a pencil to write -
I can't stand it ! I can't stand it! -
and it breaks in my hand.
Literally. What's the point ?
You aren't here,
I'm not all there,
why weren't you in ?
Tabitha Draper
Xmas List
I was once promised
a slinky dress
But then I got fat
And looked a mess
Pregnant with your baby
No slinky dress for me !
slinky dress oh slinky dress
swollen and looked a mess
Fat stupid and obsessed
fat unhappy and depressed
slinky dress oh slinky dress
I'd look silly in it anyway
Breast feeding your baby
And let's be fair to you
At least you gave me a book.
slinky dress oh slinky dress
One day I'll have a slinky dress
And a boyfriend and a baby too
And we'll all wear our slinky dresses
When we spend all our Christmases with you
And we'll love the books
we'll be so happy
Because that's what
civilised people
do.
D. Montgomery
SCHIZOPHRENIA
The nurses who diagnosed me
just won't believe me
and scorn my pseudo-philosophy with theirs
to the ranks of the norms in society.
After five years
of searching for the truth,
I might as well
have sold it to the devil
for I was plunged into the abyss of treason;
for a reason for my being,
for the few who knew me,
then mirrored me
in the light of antiquity;
and then,
through the loss of friends,
I became labelled by the elite professions.
The lamp of truth
flickered for a while;
it was turned off
like a needle in the wick,
it had lost it's kick.
Anon