"The Manic-Depression Twins"

Now, for that roller coaster of life
"The Manic-Depression Twins"
Manic - Creativity/Destruction
Depression - Destruction/Creativity

Mount Olympus should be so high as the view from atop "manic mountain".
The deepest fissure in the ocean pales to the depths of depression.

As an artist, writer and part-time stand-up comic, provide me an audience and rush begins, the craving, like a junkie on crack, more, higher. BUT the higher the ride, the deeper and harder the dive, the crash! Left weakened, the darkness envelopes my world with hopelessness. So ride the tiger, but fear the fang.

Manic:
Fast talk, racing thoughts, faster until thought exceeds reasonable control.
The distortion of my reality is taken from my control.

Someone else is speaking, saying things that are not my words,
not my thoughts, but that of a stronger creature.
I fear him (Manic) as much as I fear his dark twin (Depression).

How can you personify this condition, you ask? EASY!

They are real to me, whether real or imagined,
that which I feel is real,
thus my fear give them life.
I become an arena with both fighting for control.

I've struggled to maintain, but the addictive power of the manic is like a siren's song beckoning me to my destruction.
While the overwhelming fear of depression leaves me shell-shock and weak.

Who hear my cries? Who hears me, period?,
the twins scream in my ears, deafening me to my own words.
I must shut them out for I WILL SURVIVE!

Am I mad?
When I'm in control,
No!
When the twins are at the reins, I fear the worst.

I am in love with the manic and the power I feel,
A deal with the Devil, and my soul is in jeopardy.

What you see before you, are the ramblings of this high.
It may not make any sense to you, but I share my shame
so that others may know this malady.

And in this knowledge, realize they are not alone.
At least I pray I am not alone
and that one of you understands my words.

Depression:
From the bottom of the hell I've made for myself,
I find an outpour of words, Dark words, but words of self-truth.

When one is strip to the bone,
for God and the world to judge
(as if significant enough to notice), we are the naked ape.

You must realize all that matters is what you feel and believe.
Love thy self!
Do not fear ridicule from others. THEY ARE NOT WATCHING!

They are too worried about what others think of them,
we are too insignificant to be noticed.
We need not hide, like a frightened mouse.

We need only to acknowledge our self-worth!

I hope I've not bored anyone, but what I say is the truth to me.

Discount these words if they frighten you.
Analyze them if they intrigue you.
Please study them if you can learn something that may help
those who feel they walk this path alone.

I consider this an autopsy of a person who has learned to control the "TWINS".
And with control, I fear them no longer.
I use them, but I will never let them use or abuse me again.

I account the emotions, feelings and episodes in my life.
I know this monster well.
It cannot be slain..but now I'm the jailer and have the keys that!
They dance to my tune and I will continue to LIVE.

I have roamed this world for 48+ years
and will relish all that God is will to allow me.

Yes,yes I know..me,me,me,I,I,I.
No, I am not self consumed, only a town crier,
heralding the light of day and life.

Please read these word, not to judge me, but to know that the
manic-depressive is not to be feared, nor shunned, only another human creature looking to be understood.

Thank you for your kind attention! Dan Sheggrud (Manic-Depressive)

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