Lots of people my age get sad, I kept telling myself. Lots of people feel lost and feel empty and feel alone. Lots of people are depressed.

I couldn't tell you when it started or what exactly triggered the emotions of self-hate I began feeling during my sophomore year in college, other than it was quickly getting worse. I can say for sure that before too long, my situation seemed like it was too late. Friends seemed increasingly distant and a multi-colored swirl continually spun through my head. I couldn't see straight, think straight, or feel straight.

Many parents seem to think that such feelings are only attributed to drug use or suspect song lyrics. But I wasn't on drugs and I wasn't listening to Marilyn Manson. I was an honor student, president of clubs, liked by everyone I knew. But something was wrong.

Sure, I found out later it was a purely medical condition. My brain was not receiving enough norepinephrine or serotonin for me to handle stress normally-but it didn't feel medical. I didn't understand what I felt, and all I could concentrate on was that something was wrong with me. The Culmination

One night in January, I found myself too lonely and too depressed. I sat alone in my bedroom, contemplating my many faults and how I had wasted my parents' money for college by not getting a 4.0. I didn't look like a model so I was ugly and I didn't know everything so I was stupid. I didn't even know that I had finished two bottles of pills (one aspirin, one Tylenol) when I began feeling sick to my stomach. Each pill glided down my throat representing one more reason why I felt like a failure. Before long, I was nearly passed out, and there I was, 18 years old, lying on the bathroom floor, convulsing uncontrollably with no one to save me. Then again, I didn't want anyone to.

God Watching Over Me

By a miracle, my girlfriend happened to stop by and was able to subside her panic long enough to call the EMS. After a stomach pumping and neutralization techniques, I recovered physically. Within three hours, the nurses went from getting ready to move me to intensive care to telling me I would be leaving the next day.

It was a remarkable physical turnaround, they told me, something I now attribute to God. The mental recovered remained to be tackled, but I first sought His help.

The Road to Recovery

I should not have survived that Wednesday night in January, that is perfectly clear to me. Therefore, I feel that I did make it for a specific reason-to enrich my life and the lives of others around me. This article is one step in doing so.

If there's one message I want everyone to know, it's that no one ever knows if a loved one is going through what I went through. I have a loving family and loving friends, and still managed to write my hard times off as "a phase." After all, every 18 year old goes through ups and downs, emotionally, physically, and academically.

Unfortunately, however, there is no one way to diagnose oncoming teenage depression, other than looking for warning signs. These include change in weight or appetite, sudden disinterest in class work, friends, or socializing, and substance abuse. Juli Burnell, counselor for the University of Dayton Counseling Center, says that each case she sees is different.

"Sometimes it's weight, or friends, or finances, or school. but usually it is some combination of these stresses that even the depressed teenager can't pinpoint alone," she says. "Therapy is something I think everyone could use to get through high school and college."

But you or your child may not be willing to give therapy a try; I certainly wasn't, at the beginning at least. It is important not to spout off a bunch of facts, but rather to rely on the love you feel for your son or daughter and how strongly you want the best for his or her future.

I don't fault my parents at all for what happened to me because they did all they could. The thing is, I hid so much from them that they were unaware of the seriousness of my condition until it was too late. Every day, let your children know that they have all the reasons in the world to want to live forever.

Treatment Options

There are many ways to tackle the black cloud of depression that hangs over so many of us. Depression is now the most frequent complaint heard by primary care physicians, and a link between intelligence and depression is being explored by researchers throughout the world. Dr. James N. Herndon suggests: "There is a significant positive correlation between intelligence and the likelihood of suffering from major depression; in other words, the more intelligent you are, the more likely you are to become severely depressed. I believe this is because those with higher intelligence are better at creating or imagining negative options, possibilities, outcomes, etc. in their minds. Depression can result from this sort of mental activity."

Through my counseling, I was repeatedly told that the combination between therapy and medication is the best and most effective route, so that is the route I took. However, proper diagnosis is important to distinguish the cause of the depression and then from there, the best way to treat the problem. Each case is different, but all have the feelings of hopelessness and fear encompassed in them.