Diagnosis

I was diagnosed with Bipolar disease three months ago. I frankly never thought about it. I have a child who is ADHD and took a test to see if some of the things I was experiencing might mean I was ADHD. Wrong! I was flying when I met my shrink. I had no idea I was in a manic phase. I thought everyone stayed up all night for 4 days and then collapsed. I'm taking Lithium now and find it keeps my manic/depressive states under control. But I don't like it. I like being in manic land. I do take my pills though and revert to Lithium with a smaller dose so I can function on the weekend. Then I'm controlled but in a manic state all the time. I'm also a twin and she hasn't been diagnosed yet. I think she'll rebel at any suggestion that she has a chemical imbalance. This goes with the problems of drug use (her not me), alcohol abuse, etc. It's 2:00 in the morning and I've had a drink so I can go to sleep. I do not like being in a manic state during the week. Except on Thursday nights. And I still have a hard time accepting the fact that I have to take this drug for the rest of my life.

I actually don't think anything is wrong with being manic. If more of the world could experience how if feels to be omnipotent for just a short time they would be trying to short circuit their brains. Anyway, off to have another drink and try to sleep. I despise sleeping.

Mary

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