To all of you, I have read this message board several times but have not been able to respond, I guess I just chicken out I can relate to all of you in one way or the other. It's so sad that we have to feel this way, but we do and it's so awful. I have been depressed for many years and it don't get any better. I have tried every medicine on market and some of it has helped me no more than taking an aspirin, but I am not against taking medicinee because they are so many out there it does help. I have been on a downward spiral for about a week now and it is suffocating me.My family is mad at me because they think I should just get over it, what a joke if I could wouldn't I? That's one of the hardest parts for me trying to deal with depression, it's so frusterating because they don't beleive me. They tell me if I am looking for sympathy to forget it, because they are not going to pet me. Why want they listen when I tell them it's not sympathy I need it's just a little understanding.I have told them many times that sympathy want help me but a little understanding and love may help. Not once have they said I'm sorry you are sick and I wish there was something I could do to make your pain go away and it hurts so bad.It is driving me to the very end of no return because I am so belittled and put down if I even mention it. I am told if I really have it then don't come around them when I am like that, which is most of the time. I feel so alone and unloved because I don't know how to deal with it alone. I have a wonderful doctor been going to him for years and he has tried everything possible to help me but it always come's back,I guess thats the way it works.I guess just because I will have a good day every once in awhile they think I should be able to make all of my day's good but I can't. They are great kids but I do beleive they are ashamed of me because I have depression. No matter how awful it gets sometimes when I am really down I will try to pretend I'm o.k. and it's easier to be around them. I would like to be n I live with controls me' I cannot control it.As I write I am riding the waves of torment. Thanks for your time. I wish you all love and comfot. Forgotten