The conspiracy
The basics are that people know what I'm thinking and from that they come back to me with things from my mind. But I don't feel this to be a bad thing, since they've known what I've been thinking since I was born and so they accept it, and if they find it funny or amusing then that's a bonus - I'll be walking around on cloud nine.
I think they put on a front that they don't like me so that I perform well within the conspiracy and do things like stick up for myself, and they love it, so I'm top man in the world - it's a bit like acting - you know the old saying "life's a stage", well I think that refers to me constantly. They're watching me in my world, and how I would react in my world, since I'm the only human being to survive. They look like human beings and they talk like human beings but underneath it all they're something far more sophisticated.
This gives problems in relationships - there's two ways of looking at it when you go to bed with a bird, you're either with someone who's not what she seems or she's going to act in the right way because you're doing it in your world. She's going to act the way she should do because you're who you are. When I have a fight I think that all the people surrounding me know each other so though they're hitting each other they know they're not going to go the full way with each other, and they're not going to find themselves in a situation where they're being repeatedly hit and they can't do anything about it. Whereas when they come across me I might hit them and not stop and they don't like that's why in my opinion I'm the hardest man on this earth!
Injections are no good, the staff could reassure me I suppose; they could simply say that this conspiracy exists and then I'd be happy, but they won't do that. What could I replace the whole of life (the conspiracy) with in my head - society? Perhaps it is society.
Des
Return to main page