I could really relate to your pain. I was diagnosed Bi-polar2 about 5 years ago. You sound like me about the second year of my treatment. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting better. Since I had tried a lot of different medications and had poor reactions to all of them. I finally realized that I needed better care, and contacted my local Psychiatric Association to get the names of doctors in my area that had a lot of experience with my type of illness. I got the names of several doctors in my area and left messages with them all. I chose the one that it was the easiest for me to talk to on the phone, as having good rapport with my doctor was lacking badly before, and he sounded like he knew exactly what I was going through and was confident he could help me.

Things really started going better after seeing him. He gradually took me off every medication I was on before and prescribed things that have worked much better for me. I presently take Wellbutrin, a wide spectrum anti-depressant; neurontin, an anti-convulsive, (depakote is, too, but made me very tired and made my hair fall out); and zyprexa, which was originally designed for schizophrenia, but helps Bi-polar in small doses in combination with these other drugs I take. Everyone is different and you should work with a good doctor until you find the right combination for you. Having the correct medication and an excellent on-going therapeutic relationship with my doctor has made all the difference in the world.

I also am in a state funded vocational rehabilitation program to help me find meaningful work that I can do without getting fired. If they can't help me, then I am going to attempt to employ myself at home in some type of business where I can work around any low energy days I have.

Hang In There! I am single mother, too whose marriage went under just about when I was the sickest. I'm sure you're a great Mom and have many talents and good traits to rebuild your life with. Try to focus on the good and strong parts of yourself. It's kind of like that if you have a blemish on your face, that isn't your whole face. Get as much emotional and practical support for your illness as you can find that is to your liking. Nothing is helpful if you don't want it and you have the right to make those choices in your treatment. There is a national support group for people like us called the Depression and Manic-depression Support group.( or something like that) You might find it by calling your local Psychiatric Association or try information. There might be some great brains there that you could pick!